Sadly, the general consensus of "convert or nope out" sounds like what will end up happening. The church creates massive guilt and shame in children and adults usually through sex related shaming. Hopefully she could realize if she was born into one of these cults that also distrust apostates she probably wouldn't see through them either. I wish you all well on your recovery from this particularly vile church. I feel a sense of freedom would come with it, but I am also afraid of what this could mean for us in the long run. We'll have to discuss that, now that I actually know some things about some things. After a lot of thought during that relationship with a non-Mormon, I laid out exactly what struggles I was probably going to face: I was worried about my own faith. Would you rather give up the prospect of being married in the temple, the assurance of children being raised in the church, and parts of Mormon culture for your boyfriend, or a great man for your beliefs. So how do we approach saving a relationship with someone who has unrealistic expectations of what a long-term relationship looks like.
At the end of the second date I knew I needed him in my life. While the Church allows dating at 16, it discourages serious relationships until you both are older and considering marriage. If she doesn't care that you aren't a member now, if your relationship goes on long enough, she is going to care eventually.
Look for girls in your singles ward. Finding a person with whom your wavelength matches, and around whom you feel you can just be yourself, talk about anything, and not be worried about being judged, is not as easy as the romantic movies and TV soaps make it out to be. They don't have control so they easily a Fall prey to other doctors and nurses etc. He doesn't like to complain or talk about work too much when we're together so it really helps to hear from another resident just how crazy it is. Instead, I found someone outside the cult and we've been married almost 32 years She's looking for a dedicated priesthood holder who will take her to the temple. Does that make sense. Yes, talk talk talk about everything yoiu can think of, but beyond that I would suggest pre-marital counseling from people knowledgeable in each tradition at play this will probably take two different counselors, who might be faith-based. I actually had one of my friends say to me, " why are you worried about what he is doing when you aren't there he spends hundreds of dollars on you when you are there who cares that he hasn't texted you".
It's been tough to always move and find a new job, friends etc I agree a support system is needed. My husband is a doc in the UK so I moved 7, miles for love. I have been a doctor's wife for almost 2 years - and we have been together for about 7 years, since right before intern year. It was actually causing more of a rift than bringing us together. She has opened my eyes to many parts of our national culture that are not in harmony with righteousness. There are such things as perfect loving families though. I let people assume what they will. Just an idea, I have no idea what would actually work for her.
